Especially during the first part of this project, some noteworthy personal developments occured, that might also have been the underlying reason why I felt the need and urge to explore the notion of hustle culture.

At the start of this academic year, I figured out the plan to do a 10-week internship in February at a design company. A timeline began to unfold in my mind of the steps I needed to take in order to get hired at a company for an internship position. For the first time in my life I started really thinking about my career.

STEP 1 - LINKEDIN

The first step was obvious and simple; I created a LinkedIn account, added all my experiences and started adding people. I was surprised how I could make almost a hundred 'connections' in just a day or two. Soon after, people around me gave me comments: the texts accompanying the experiences could be improved and I needed a good photo of myself. I started writing some improved texts and a profile picture was soon fixed by going on a sunny walk with a friend, letting her make hunderds of pictures of me and uploading the best one. Despite the awkwardness I felt realising I was actually going out just to make a good picture of my face so that people can recognize me on the internet, I did became fascinated by this formerly unknown world of LinkedIn. Seeing how fellow students happened to have three impressive side jobs besides their study program, sharing their grade for their final bachelor project and spreading the news of their next very inspiring project. It made me feel proud and intimidated at the same time.

STEP 2 - CV

Besides having my professional self on the internet, I still also needed it in the old-fashioned way; paper, or actually a pdf viewed on a computer screen. One A4 with the same information as on the LinkedIn page. How to describe a study program, or a current student assistent job in just a few words? I was surprised how long it takes to create one page filled with known data.

STEP 3 - PORTFOLIO

Now it was time to show my skills and experiences more elaborately, in the form of a portfolio. Luckily I had been quite well in organising all my projects over the last few years, so collecting the visual material and choosing which ones to put in was not too hard. What happens then was a whole process of looking back and self-reflection on what each project was really about, what role I played in it, and what I had learned from it. I began to get a feeling of selfishness, thinking and writing about how valuable and meaningful all these projects had been to me. A high point was reached when I wrote about my vision as a designer. It drove me crazy to spend several days just thinking about myself and hyping myself up. 'Me, me, me! Look at me! You are such a unique person with an original vision!'
I cramped the production of this portfolio in not even 3 weeks, during which also part II of the minor began.

STEP 4 - MOTIVATION LETTER

Being quite done with writing about myself, gave me even more motivation to DO things I could later add to LinkedIn, CV and portfolio. So, following an internship would be perfect for that. I soon found a company I was interested in and decided to write a good letter, with the idea that I could use the main lines for similar companies as well. I started discovering more and more companies that got me really excited. I could really see myself between all those cool people working on interesting projects. Seeing all those inspiring companies coming by, I thought it would definitely be worth it.

STEP 5 - THE END

I thought I made it. After completing all these tasks I was finally ready to reach out to companies. But the closer this moment came, the more I began to doubt. Why did I want to do this? I sorted out the pros and cons for myself, but in the end kept saying I shouldn't quite the game now. I send in my motivation letter, portfolio, CV and LinkedIn to a company and got rejected the day after; they found 10 weeks too short for an internship. And then I started doubting again; it is just 10 weeks. 10 weeks in which I could also just continue following some philosophy courses I was enjoying, continue working for an innovative education project I had found really educational for the past few months, have the time and peace to process what I had learned during the minor and the philosophy courses and become ready for my final bachelor project. But also, and perhaps even more importantly, my individual minor project and my internship plans started to intertwine in my head. Figuratively, because I realised I was running over. But also literally, because my research touched upon this personal experience exactly on the sweet spot; about always doing more, seeing yourself as a project, faking it till you make it and living to work instead of working to live. I decided not doing an internship. It felt like the best decision to not join this hustle and instead only dive into the hustle of my minor project.